Blessing of a hold up

Looking and reflecting at this phase I have been going through for some time now it appears as though everything has come to a screeching halt. Its a halt as I have no destination or milestone in sight, nothing to look forward to except for just existing in this world and let everything be. Thats been a different play altogether from what had been happening with me before. I wake up in the morning not having anything to accomplish and retire to bed at night feeling empty, half done , unfulfilled. I wouldn’t call this halt a misery altogether as I am calm, at peace , not worked up or bound by work. On the surface it looks alright. But no, this isn’t how it ought to be. I would say it’s a precious human life being wasted. It’s a good spiritual teachings reminder : human life is not just for eating , sleeping and reproducing but for higher realisations. This neutral state of being with the flow is a kind of non interference from my part in one sense. I am just not doing any work to go against anybody. My role in bringing about harmony to myself as well as my immediate core members has some how led me to this hold up. Looking back it had been a tiresome weary journey then and may be it’s a way of my self to rest and heal. Gliding through this phase where I don’t shoulder any major responsibilities, there is no duty bound pressures, everything around me and in my way is being taken care of is a grace, a blessing, a luxury and privilege. Important decisions remain to be taken about the way forward. The realisation that we are just a toy in the hands of the supreme and largely powerless to strike our way has occurred during this phase. Even if we stand on our heads we cannot get everything that we want done , that cry of helplessness rises and looking up for the divinely Grace to descend on us happens.

Hoping to Gear up from this rein in and make a move. I do realise that lot of it is inside me which has to change for the situations to get better. Apparently this act of looking inside for the necessary modifications , revamping , to keep going with interest and zest is probably the one large leap that needs to happen in me. Providence and chance has it’s way of favouring us when we are well prepared and have put in our part. Spiritual teachings say that an agitated mind results out of materialistic desires and emotional clinging to the fruits of action. Resigning oneself to accept everything as destiny or fate does not lead me from failing to understand the importance of self effort. To be stable, equipoised, peaceful and happy is where my current focus is on. Some times it occurs to me that I might be relishing this hold up a bit too much !